20 things I have learned about D.C. that isn’t where to stand on an escalator

Being my first blog post, I feel like it’s only right to curate a listicle. I’m on trend! Or something.

My selfie with Obama.
My selfie with Obama.

I’m also an West Coaster recently picked up and plopped in a city where the north and south East Coast meet: Washington, D.C. I knew very little about this wonky city before moving here, but have quickly filled my blank canvas with wallflower-y observations and odd discoveries, all through Pacific Northwest-tinted glasses (I know what you’re thinking. Spoiler: I am not actually that guy). Here’s what I’ve found, thus far:

  1. There is always at least one airplane in the sky.
  2. Umbrellas > Raincoats (which is usually a quick way to lose street cred in the Pacific Northwest).
  3.  The Metro is usually:
    1. On fire
    2. The scene of a grisly crime 
    3. Broken
    4. Dramatically late
  4. Sophisticated salad bars are king.
  5. A light drizzle is sign that a colossal downpour is seconds away. Run for cover.
  6. Public pools are clean, free and oddly luxurious.
  7. Wearing running shoes with a fancy dress is a normal commuting outfit.
  8. There’s, at a minimum, at least one free interesting event each day.
  9. It’s deceptively easy to watching a Supreme Court Hearing—and sometimes it’s a very important one.
  10. Something is always being protested in front of the White House.
  11. It’s easy to find confused groups of humans wearing brightly-colored, identical shirts. Especially near monuments.
  12. Everyone is either frozen to the bone or drenched in sweat. Except maybe for one week in the spring.
  13. It’s easy to bike across multiple state lines in a day.
  14. There are no truly decent burritos. I may be a snob?
  15. There’s a tiny park in the middle of an intersection dedicated to Sonny Bono.
  16. Beards are out. Probably because they’re sweat palaces.
  17. Boat shoes exist. And are not exclusively worn while boating.
  18. “Dive bars” = Sports bars with $5 Bud Lights. Womp.
  19. The fight for D.C. statehood is real, and as alive as ever. “Taxation without Representation” is snarkily stamped on every license plate.
  20. Everyone who lives here is here to do something they are extremely passionate and excited about. It’s too expensive here to allow for anything but.

Published by Alex Zielinski